After recent events, may I propose the ultimate NANOG thread..

NANOG User: Message

Richard A Steenbergen: Can we keep this off-topic crap off NANOG?

Gadi Evron: That message is deeply relevant to us all. I can't
understand what your porblme is.

Sean Donelan: Fascinating, User. I suppose ISSUE would be different if
you were running a NETWORK and using ROUTER.

Christopher L. Morrow: I think you have a point, Sean, but can you try
not to engage with this? ISSUE is definitely off topic.

RAS: Only Auntie Jane on a crappy Windows box would have ISSUE anyway.

Donelan/Evron/Morrow in chorus: But Jane is our customer.

RAS/Bill Manning together: Get a clue!

Valdis Kletnieks: NANOG User said:

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We had ISSUE on a DEVICE in our FACILITY back in 2004. Have you got the DATA?
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Of course all this wouldn't be a problem if STANDARDS BODY had got a
clue and decided to implement PROPOSAL.

NANOG User: *pastes 86 hop tracert, last week's BGP update log and
half the CIDR report*

Valdis/RAS/Evron/Bill/Morrow: Couldn't you have sent that offlist? Get a clue!

NANOG User: I'm sorry if I offended your refined sensibilities. Who do
you think you are?

Random Lurker desperately seeking status: Bill is right. This is the
Network Operators' list.

RAS: Anyway, PROPOSAL would have been a good idea, but nobody was ever
going to deploy it. We ought to go straight to IPVersionX.

All: IP Version X?? Get a clue!

Valdis: Only someone who thinks we ought to go back to ATM would
support that Bellhead POS. From a network architecture perspective,
it's plain stupid.

Evron: You obviously have no idea of how the botnets would exploit that.

Bill: Gadi, that's off topic.

Morrow: No, it's not.

Third-world ISP operator: Hello, I've got SERIOUS PROBLEM on my
network in POOR COUNTRY and no money. Can anyone advise on how we can
fix it? Thanks

Randy Bush: I can't read your message. It's got capital letters in it.

Anyway, I think we need to get back to some operational content.

Fergie: Hey guys, this looks interesting - <a
href="http://link.to.newsstory">Chinese scientists teach monkey to
write technical manual</a>

Randy Bush: I can't read your message. It's got HTML in it.

Valdis: RFCx says you can have capital letters AND links in your e-mail.

Randy: I don't care.

Evron: Major security alert!

Morrow: Bullshit.

RAS: No, that is on topic.

Donelan: Probably more suited to LIST, but it certainly has
consequences for support costs.

NANOG User: Why does Sean always take RAS's side like this?

Peter Dambier: It's because of the 2004 Olympics that all e-mail has
to be routed to the European Commission so the SS7 signalling can be
screened for correct geopolitical routing. I can see this because my
traceroute is broken!
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User, I think your ISSUE could be resolved by WILDLY IMPRACTICAL
SOLUTION, as long as you use an alternate root server.

Valdis: Peter, you're insane.

Peter Dambier: The psychiatric-industrial complex denounces all
victims of ICANN mind control as "mentally ill"! Resist the empire
now!

NANOG User: Is that on topic for NANOG?

All: That is on topic/That is off topic!

Bill: Well, I think he's got a point about ICANN.

RAS: They're nowhere near as bad as ARIN, though. I only wanted
another /8 and it took me three whole weeks!

All: Swine!

Donelan: ARIN's never been a problem for me.

Another NANOG User: STUPID REMARK about evil state bureaucracies
forcing their eurosexual communism on us. Buy guns!

Evron: So who should assign IPs? AT&T? Get a clue!

Randy Bush: You would say that. Anyway, I think WILDLY IMPRACTICAL
SOLUTION is actually quite a good idea, except for the alternate root
bit. Back at RESEARCH CENTRE in the 1970s, Vint Cerf and I tried
something similar.

Bill: Namedropper!

Moderator@mitre.edu: I think this thread should be moved to NANOG-FUTURES.

RAS: Why isn't there a NANOG-CRAP?

Moderator@mitre.edu: Are you sure there isn't?

Morrow: Anyone else seeing high latency to TELCO in CITY?

Crickets: chirping

Random Lurker, still hoping one of the silverbacks will show him some
love: So, what about IPVersion Y?

All: That's not operational!

*thread peters out in howling clue vacuum*